Cape Breton Island in Nova Scotia is an utterly charming place at first glance.
With its natural unspoiled terrain, ocean views, wildlife and whales, it can cast
a lingering spell.
Beneath the surface, Cape Breton can be a very mysterious place...a potent place.
It gives up its secrets grudgingly.
I was a recent arrival on the island.
I was just passing through, or so I'd thought...
As soon as I passed over the causeway between mainland Nova Scotia
and Cape Breton Island, time seemed to bend.
There was a distinct change of pace and culture.
Another atmosphere held sway...
Something whispered "home" in my ear the night I arrived.
A number of things conspired to keep me there...
Within days, I was offered a job and a house to live in.
I was to stay for 10 years...
Perhaps it was the isolation, the vastness of sky and ocean, the wilderness
and the wild weather...perhaps something else altogether...
but Cape Breton was strong stuff.
I landed near the Acadian French fishing village of Cheticamp.
The rugged beauty of the coast stood in contrast to the gentle, rolling hills
of the Scottish and Irish farming communities just down the road.
The people were shaped by their landscape in like manner.
The Acadians were made of stern and stony stuff, while the inland people
were warm and gentle.
As I became acquainted with the locals, I heard many tales of strange
happenings. Story-telling was a mainstay of life here. I drank it all in.
Little did I suspect that I was in for a few experiences of my own...
Living close to nature creates a level of awareness that many of us
are not accustomed to.
These people were highly sensitive to their environment.
The fishermen read the weather signs far better than any TV broadcaster could.
Long hours in the elements had made them keen observers.
Fishing, hunting, growing their own food and living off the land, not to mention
surviving the harsh, windswept winters had honed their skills.
Living among them, I learned to forage, plant, chop wood, carry water
and cook on a wood-burning stove. It was tough, but it brought me to life!
It was in this setting that I began to experience a sense of Spirit
and an interaction with the unseen world...
People were steeped in the Catholicism of an earlier time...a time when
all sorts of abuses were rife.
Many things were confided in me by the young people, who were less afraid
to challenge the status quo. There were horror stories of all kinds...
strange machinations in the name of religion.
There were heavy-handed repercussions for anyone that leaked their secrets,
as we were to discover.
There was a kind of evil there that had long gone unchallenged.
I couldn't avert my eyes or ears.
Things took a more serious turn as the evidence of many kinds of abuse mounted.
This wasn't the experience I had anticipated so happily at the outset...
For my own part, I was recovering from damage I had suffered regarding the misuse
of religion in my own life. I was on the run from a homicidal preacher's kid
whose parents had forced our marriage.
I had to start over on a better footing, questioning everything I had been taught,
for my own sake and for that of the young people who were seeking me out.
I had to move through my own healing and help them to a healthier place.
It was during this phase that I began to have an internal sense that I needed
to commit to being celibate.
That was unexpected, especially as I was already living that way.
I questioned why I would have to commit? I was only 22.
It didn't seem fair or necessary. I wasn't that sort of person to begin with.
But it was being strongly urged on me.
I wrestled with the urging. I could not appreciate the importance of it.
But I began to have a clear sense that there was no moving forward until
that commitment was secured.
After several weeks struggle, I finally relented and made it official.
I said aloud "Alright...I'll do it. I will be celibate."
I felt an immediate release. There was a strong palpable shift.
Walking with the Unseen is difficult in the beginning, but I began to know
that I was on the right track with this.
The unseen world is many things...light and dark forces and everything
in between can be encountered.
A few nights later, I had an encounter from another dimension that I would never forget...an encounter that left me in no doubt of the seriousness and necessity
of that commitment...
In fact, I had two encounters, just weeks apart...
I was living alone in an old farmhouse out in the country.
I was still getting used to how dark it could be on a moonless night.
The ocean's roar, the wind, the creaking of the old house, the many moods
of the place were slowly becoming decipherable and familiar.
I remember being in a deep dreamless sleep one night.
I suddenly woke with a fright...a sense of pure terror.
I wanted to bolt from the house but I found myself completely paralyzed.
There stood a being at the foot of my bed...a seven foot tall black form
that was blacker than the surrounding darkness.
A being that was pure raw sexual energy.
I recoiled at the horrific being, but I couldn't move a muscle to escape.
I was deeply paralyzed, unable to even breathe.
The being was powerfully seductive...
I resisted it in my mind.
It had such magnetic force that I could feel myself being lifted off the bed
by the strength of its thought.
It commanded me to have sex with it.
I struggled helplessly. "NO!" I wanted to scream.
Then it spoke telepathically as though to persuade me to come willingly.
"It will be the greatest sex imaginable! There is no human equivalent!
It is beyond anything that you could ever imagine. Just DO IT!"
Again, I resisted with all my mind, but my body was already beginning
to respond to the immense sexual energy against my will. It was incredibly compelling. The being read my mind throughout the ordeal. It was determined
to break my resistance by any means. Its force was unbelievably powerful.
My mind was slipping under the force of its will. I resisted, remembering
the commitment I had just been led to make. It was still fresh in my mind.
The being kept trying to break my mind.
"It's not a sin," it said mockingly. "You are free. You can do anything you want!
And besides, no one will EVER know!"
The final seduction...the final persuasion..."No one will ever know..."
The last fear...of being discovered...the last lie...the final temptation.
"But GOD will know!" I answered in my mind. "But God will know..."
With that, the thing vanished!!
I gulped in air, suddenly able to move my body.
A sexual entity...an enormous, powerful being!
I had not known such things existed.
Later I was to learn that there was a name for this kind of spirit: incubus.
At the time, however, I knew only that it wanted to destroy me...and that it was
an overpowering force.
I could never have understood the importance and the necessity of the commitment
to celibacy until this moment.
My real spiritual education had begun...
About 2 weeks later, I woke again from a sound sleep to the hard pounding
of my bed on the floor. I felt someone in bed with me...behind me.
I felt the shape and the weight of a man slamming me against the wall.
But I was alone in the house! Someone must have broken in!
I was being shoved up against the wall roughly, repeatedly.
As I came to, I realized that the violent shoving was sexual.
Alarmed at the intent and the strength of the attacker, I tried to resist.
When I tried to scream, I found it was impossible to speak or cry out.
I was paralyzed again!
I was alone with a rapist...Would I be mutilated, murdered?!
I had to find a way to make my body respond!
It took several terrifying minutes to will my body to move at all.
Finally, with a desperate effort, I was able to turn my face
toward the attacker, not sure who I would find.
As I made that final move, the thing behind me vanished...into thin air!
There was no man...
The bed stopped banging. The paralysis left me.
Another sexual spirit attack...
After that, there was a period of relative peace in that arena.
These were initiatory experiences intended to awaken me to the realities
of the unseen world...the dangers as well as the reality.
Spirit's leading was a serious matter...far more important than I realised.
The testing and temptation that followed hard on the heels of the commitment
to celibacy dramatically underscored the importance of the body
and the right use of sexuality.
There are many times when a spirit works through a human form, as well.
Once, when about to hug a new female acquaintance goodbye, I had a jarring experience.
As she reached toward me, I felt an overarching spirit swoop out of her body
and try to overpower me. I jumped out of the car in alarm.
It was a homosexual entity. Again, I didn't know such a thing existed.
Now this happened years ago, long before I had ever heard the word or had
an understanding of the concept.
Its clarity was such that there was no mistaking its essence and threat...
Sexual energy is such a vital possession. It should never be squandered
or be put at risk. There is a part of us that knows when we are being used
innapropriately. Nearly everyone has experienced suffering and damage
to their souls after a predator has struck. The road to recovery on a
spiritual/energetic level can be long and difficult.
Sex is a potent means of control. Spiritual entrapment is real.
Unfortunately, people fail to realise that they are dealing with more
than a broken heart or bruised ego.
Oftentimes there has been damage on an energetic level.
We have travelled far from the path of awareness in this most important
aspect of life.
What I learned in those early years has kept me safe and out of harm's way
on many levels...