‘But your laughter won’t let me go...’
I caught sight of him out of the corner of my eye...
I felt a little thrill when the tall stranger walked by.
A current of energy passed between us.
I had been in the process of breaking up with a boyfriend for a few months.
He was reluctant to split up, but I had known it was only meant to be a short-term relationship (an assignment, in fact).
I was on the phone with him just then…
There was an urgency as Spirit said to ‘Finish it NOW!’...just moments before
I laid eyes on Danny for the first time.
Three men walked down the dock past my houseboat. I recognized two of them
as my neighbors, but the tall blonde man in the middle was a stranger.
I felt a rush of attraction that was undeniable.
Feeling a little guilty as I ended the phone call with the now officially-former- boyfriend, I saw the blonde man glance back at me over his shoulder.
He felt something, too...
My usual peace was disturbed by this sudden rush of emotions. I got up and busied myself with house cleaning.
Not ten minutes later, I felt a footfall on the deck of my boat.
I turned to see the tall blonde guy leaning in with a friendly grin.
“Permission to board?” he asked in a sweet Southern drawl.
“Uh...Yes!! Come aboard!” I answered with a blush.
“I’m Danny. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’ll be staying on my friend’s boat for a few weeks.”
“I’m Debbie...Nice to meet you. I’m kinda new around here myself.”
”I guess I’ll be seeing you around then.”
“I could use a friend. Come on by anytime.” With that, he was gone.
‘Whew! Nice energy!’ I thought.
What was it about him that excited me so much?!
He was tall and broad-shouldered. Athletic and tan with startling blue eyes.
Too young for me, but easy on the eyes!
I was definitely drawn to him more than I wanted to be...
Half an hour later, Danny was back.
“Come on in!”
He stepped across the threshold and straightened up. Six foot four...nice!
“Would you like a beer?”
“Thanks...my favorite!”
I didn’t drink beer or keep it on hand as a rule, but just that morning, I had gone to the liquor store (a rarity) and bought some on impulse.
In fact, I bought all kinds of alcohol...as if I was going to throw a party,
I mused. I had never done that before.
I really wasn’t sure what had come over me...
But it came in handy in that moment.
I poured myself a glass of wine and settled in to get to know my new neighbor. Conversation flowed easily. I felt curiously comfortable with him right from the start.
He had a sweet spirit. Funny, shy, light-hearted, genuine...
I offered him another beer...and then another.
This was not like me...
I felt a bit reckless that evening… I am never reckless...
But here I was, keeping the beer and the conversation flowing...
I had half an idea to bring out the hard liquor next...
‘Uh oh! Why am I acting like this?!’ I wondered.
We were lost in our conversation when we heard people running down the dock. His friends burst in!
“Danny! Your brother just died...from a heart attack!!”
“Which one!?” he said as he jumped to his feet in shock.
“It was Jeremy! James is flying in from California right now!”
I watched Danny go cold.
As I was soon to learn, Jeremy was his favorite brother.
He was young...only 47.
Danny and James had a serious falling out after their parents died a few years back and had not spoken a word to each other since.
Now the only family left were Danny and James.
I should have known! This was no accident... It was a set-up!
Part of me leapt into action, suddenly focused and hyper-aware.
“Hey everybody...come in. Sit down!”
I grabbed glasses and started pouring whiskey shots and handing them around.
They were gonna need some liquid courage to ease them through the shock.
They talked. I re-filled glasses and listened carefully.
There couldn’t have been a worse scenario!
Between the shock, the grief, anger and the unfinished business between the brothers, it was going to be a hard night.
The friends had to leave to pick James up from the airport.
I said “Danny can stay with me...You just bring James straight here, ok?”
In the interim, Danny’s story poured out...
He had lost both his parents in recent years...
Dad died of a massive heart attack as had another brother.
Both without warning.
And now Jeremy had died the same way. It was a lot to deal with...
Danny had been even more heart-broken at the passing of his Mom.
You could tell they had been close.
He told me that sometimes when he did dishes, he thought he caught a glimpse
of her out of the corner of his eye. It always happened in that same spot...
He often dreamed of her. He wondered if it was his imagination...
I began to piece things together.
They were Irish...his mother had ‘the gift’. So did Danny.
He had that good heart...
Life could be painful that way. It’s not easy being a sensitive.
I thought about James who would be here any time now and the hard feelings between them. They’d be as likely to brawl as anything!
And I thought of the brother so suddenly passed into spirit...
This could be tricky.
Something told me to just keep those glasses filled...for what was to come.
Of course, now I understood why I had a cupboard stocked with alcohol!
When I heard footsteps on the dock, I stepped outside with a big tumbler
of whiskey and handed it to James as I introduced myself.
“You must be tired from your flight...come in!”
“Fellas, take his things to your boat. Let me sort these boys out!”
I knew nothing about old-fashioned Irish wakes at the time, but we proceeded to have just that!
“Drink up lads!” I urged.
I had gotten them just drunk enough that the ice could be broken.
It wasn’t too much longer before their tongues came unglued.
They were kept pre-occupied with their drinks till I could coax some boyhood stories from them.
As the night wore on, stories, tears and laughter intermingled and their hearts found release.
I just kept pouring, hoping I was doing the right thing.
It seemed shameful to get them drunk like that, but at the same time it felt so right!
They patched things up that night in a way they couldn’t have done had they been sober.
Once their hearts fell open, it all went like it needed to.
It was a night to remember!
Spirit had brought it all together...alcohol to boot!
People can think what they like, but it’s God’s world and He can color outside the lines anytime He wants...
Around 4 am, the brothers were pretty much done in.
The tears had been cried, the remembrances had been made, the laughter, the forgiveness, the story of a family told...
It was an extraordinary night...
I laid them out right where they were and covered them with quilts for what was left of the night. The atmosphere was so holy...
I closed the door behind me and went for a walk in the pre-dawn hours, thankful for all that had taken place.
Danny became a friend...and a lover that summer.
There was an easy spirit between us...
We fixed supper together most nights. I went to his volleyball games, we played pool, we danced at the local hangout, we beached the boat on the islands.
So many good things came of our time together.
We were only destined for a summer together and then Life shifted...as it often must.
The song that played that summer was “My Favorite Mistake.”
An ending like ours could only be a bit bittersweet...but it still only ever makes me smile...
‘But your laughter won’t let me go...’
Fare well, Danny!
an alrernate telling from the “Gypsy Ashram”…
Another time, I was feeling the urge to end a relationship of two years. I reasoned that it was comfortable and predictable, but ultimately limiting. One’s soul feels a need to grow and to feel Life, not deadening routine. My ‘second attention’ knew that leaving was inevitable. I was just stalling for convenience and comfort’s sake. I had been dropping hints, but they were persistently disregarded. I even tried to find the nice, but boring (not growing), man another girlfriend.
One afternoon, as I was in the middle of our daily call, there was suddenly a clear sense of ‘Break it off NOW!’ Like right NOW!!
I finally did the dreaded deed (as kindly but firmly as possible). And as I did, I saw 3 men walking down the dock where my houseboat was moored. I felt a slight thrill at the sight of one of them. He glanced back over his shoulder at me, as well.
In an ‘it’s-not-what-you-think’ event, let me tell you what happened.
Gypsy complexity...
That morning I had gone to a liquor store and bought a lot of alcohol...more than I would ever need and most of it stuff I would never drink. I wondered at my strange behavior, but I did it anyway (second attention).
An hour or so later, the stranger came knocking and shyly introduced himself. I invited him aboard and offered him a drink...and another...a little stronger than the first.
Somehow I wanted to keep him there.
(Was he cute? Flirty? My type? Yes, he was) However, Second Attention was at work here...
Into the third drink, there was a small commotion outside as his friends, my dock neighbors, ran over to tell him that they had just got the news that his oldest brother had died suddenly and that his remaining brother (with whom he had not spoken in many years) was flying in. They were headed to the airport to pick him up.
“When you get back, bring him here!” I fairly commanded. “I’ve got extra bunk space.”
My tense guest needed another drink...to calm his nerves. On instinct, I kept his glass filled. I was the safe stranger that he could say anything to. Out came some difficult family stories.
His mother had recently passed, as well. He wondered out loud if that was her that he was seeing out of the corner of his eye at the kitchen sink many evenings.
It was…
And then, when his brother arrived, a strong drink was thrust into his hands. I made small talk to ease the tension while waiting for the alcohol to take effect. I then proceeded to get them both Irish stumbling-drunk.
(they were, in fact, Irish, but I did not know that till later)
I got them drunk enough to open up, to cry, to share stories, to grieve...and to become brothers again.
I presided over an Irish wake without ever quite knowing what an Irish wake was...
But some part of me knew…
As dawn approached, I laid them out where they passed out, covered them in quilts and walked the docks, praying and amazed.
True religion...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for reading! Feel free to like, subscribe (always free) and restack (wisely) https://debra152.substack.com/p/my-favorite-mistake
the 1st boyfriend’s amazing story is told in “Running Off with the Preacher’s Wife” (amazon, etc)
