Another 5 years? Life-Span choices... (not life-style)
The cottage industry of covid and conspiracy.
The capture…
I asked myself recently “Will my favorite (fill in the blank) substack writers still be doing this in another 5 year’s time?
I shuddered to think that they might…
That’s a lot of time…a significant chunk of one’s lifespan!
And then I turned the question on myself…
Do I want to be in this space 5 years from now?
The answer was swift and emphatic…
Absolutely not!
I went back and checked my notes… I came on board mid-December of 2023.
That’s 638 days…or 1 year, 8 months, 29 days…or 20 months, 29 days.
But, on further reflection, I’d been researching and cataloguing since September 2019…
That makes 6 years now…
It all landed just as I was heading into a potent new chapter of life. It cast a heavy pall over what should have been a joyous time. Life took a hard left.
I have survived a few tough episodes in life. And I knew the score early on, having seen fauci’s antics in NYC during AIDS, but it was much harder to see the confusion and pain of others who were so cruelly caught up in the fear and coercion.
Like many others, I was eager for answers, people who were willing to discuss openly and start hashing out the mess we found ourselves ensnared in.
What a time!
A time of discovery, welcome fellowship and furtherance of truth. An opportunity to see far beyond our local confines, stretch our minds, expose the criminals and their enterprises, debate, support one another and garner strength to keep moving forward! All the parts bringing what they had and coming together to create the whole.
There was also ‘the great sorting out’ as I got to know the participants and players. There were the political and the medical, as well as the financial players. Then there were the writers, researchers, stackers and commenters of all stripes.
I got far more than I bargained for in terms of learning the psychology of our fellow humans. Whew!! A veritable minefield at times! And many truly wonderful people met along the way!
While fingers were pointed at the various culprits, I also began to discern a few things about the finger-pointers.
Observing the evolution of a world where everyone suddenly commanded their own soap-box was a huge leap forward…not without its problems, of course…but the overall benefit was unmatched! It was raw and unfettered, lacking manners and containment…it was Real!
The race out of the gate was also something to behold! Who was in it for the fame, the money, the desire to influence? How did they use the space to meet their ego needs, joust, squabble, release undealt-with rage? Who needed to air their most curious theories…and so much more.
A cacaphony of pent-up ideas and opinions.
The world became a living, breathing encyclopedia in a time of censorship and shadow banning.
It was a circus within a circus within a circus…with no exit.
That strikes me as a bit hazardous. It runs like a casino…
No clocks, no windows, a certain kind of lighting, non-stop noise with occasional bursts of dinging and the sound of coins clattering, along with a maze-like floorplan that never points to an exit…
All designed to mesmerize, disorient you from time and space…and keep you within its confines.
To keep you in trance. We find ourselves whirling from stack to stack to stack. From upset to upset. Rabbit holes and crime scenes without end. You all know… We’ve all been living it.
Past a certain point of exhaustion, mingled with confusion, people don’t even know what they’re doing, where they’re researching or what they hope to achieve in the ever-expanding stack world.
At first you felt like a kid in a candy store…but a sore tummy is often not far behind.
(thankfully, we’re in the winnowing-out stage where many who had hoped to achieve fame and income are dropping away. A few left when their work was done)
Meanwhile their YEARS are slipping away…
They’re like the little old ladies in the casinos pulling levers mindlessly and reflexively all night long…oblivious after awhile.
I call it CAPTURE.
That’s not what I signed on for…
Honestly, this also puts me in mind of my favorite high school teacher. He taught philosophy to us small-town kids…and he taught it well!
Within a matter of weeks, our young minds were totally and somewhat forcibly unhinged from everything we thought was real…everything we had been taught by our family and culture…and this on the eve of our being thrust out into the larger world.
We were systematically broken down. Never had we encountered anyone like this!
Not that I knew the word or the concept at the time, but it was at this point that I discovered that I was a sapiosexual… (It was much later that I stumbled on the term)
“So, what is sapiosexuality?
To define sapiosexual, it’s all about getting turned on by intellect, not just sexually but emotionally and intellectually. It’s like finding a harmonious symphony between minds…”
(https://www.marriage.com/advice/physical-intimacy/what-is-sapiosexual/)
The problem with sapiosexuality is that it is totally indiscriminating when it comes to character.
The attraction is powerfully magnetic and often confusing. When it activates the psycho-spiritual layer, it is doubly potent.
Hormones activate, the mind enhances, the heart (and sometimes the pocketbook) opens and common sense goes out the window. It comes from some place deep inside that no one prepared us for. We have few examples to go on…
The 1st one to capture my curiosity was the marriage of Raquel Welch to André Weinfeld. (https://www.closerweekly.com/posts/raquel-welch-s-ex-husband-andre-weinfeld-) Beauty and the Beast…
I fell in love with my teacher, despite the intense, impossible-to-judge deconstructions he was putting us through.
Three weeks after we graduated, he quietly ended his life.
A brilliant, but tortured mind.
No one guessed it was coming.
Soon after, I was pursued by a brilliant musical savant, a Mensa member, a preacher’s kid…another complex, troubled soul.
The hook? His exceptional, brilliant mind and disabling charm.
My life was derailed for a time by this intriguing character (putting it kindly). I made all kinds of allowances for his brilliant bad boy behavior along the way.
As I said, sapiosexuality has no powers of discrimination.
It can morph into an attraction to a single mind, a group of minds, a mind-set. All very titillating. It operates outside of logic…even while declaring otherwise.
Every time I encounter one of these people or situations, I have to prise apart the elements.
Knowing my propensities, I reserve and confine my attractions to the likes of author Tom Robbins and the occasional Eastern European writer like Momo Kapor whose depth of mind and heart stir something exceptional in me.
What they write about in their captivating and endearing ways are bedrock issues…How to Live in troubled times and troubling circumstances…needed perspectives. How to break out of cultural mindsets and wonder about the Bigger picture with wit, wisdom and humor. These are the things that can lift people out of crushing circumstances…
They, unlike others who flash their talents because they can, are not in it for sport. They are here to awaken the best in us. They are here to help…
Like any obssession, it can take on a life of its own. All fan-dom is related to this… We see it all over Stackworld as various personalities make their mark. People becoming entranced by their heros and heroines. Everyone filling in their own personal blanks about who these strangers are. And they are strangers, we should remind ourselves, some more unknowable than others. There is little real transparency.
We just happened to have intersected at a time of great mental, psychic and emotional vulnerability.
They devolve into our inventions..our imaginary friends. We have spawned a legion of beguiling Pied-Pipers…elementals without conscience (another level of being we were not told about).
A wealthy man once told me “Debbie, there are only 2 kinds of people in this world…givers and takers.” While I might quibble somewhat, there is merit in his observation. There are predatory personalities afoot.
Motives and trajectories become clearer over time…
I always watch to see how people handle dissent and/or the honest grind of ideas and viewpoints. For instance, are people engaged thoughtfully or are dissenters haughtily elbowed aside? Is this a meeting of the minds or a meeting of the egos?
Does their trajectory track with mine? (perhaps the most important relationship question…) Are we studying in order to leave…to graduate and put our skills to use or do we want to finagle a way to keep hanging around the campus? Are they just professional gossips or muckrakers?
A slightly younger relative is from a generation that assumes they are superior to all others. They love to parry, they think they are terribly smart, but they employ no logic in discussions. After a bit, you realize they don’t know how to….they were never taught. When any discussion grows into a debate, it must soon become a vitriolic battle. When challenged, they flit, change the subject to suit themselves and quickly move to accusations and name-calling. (I’m surprised they haven’t called me a nazi yet!) For all that froth, this is just a bully’s manipulation. Not honest discourse.
‘Superiority’ is ‘established’ via a contemptuous attitude that brokers no discussion. Some of our stackers have taken to the same tactics. They had a bit of knowledge and ability at the outset, but at some point, they are out of their element. The gracious thing to do would be to step back and invite others to join the discussion and share their knowledge, but they have a growing fan base of paying subscribers that they cling to jealously. Challenging these alpha personalities (even accidentally) can bring out the vulgar and thuggish sides of their characters as they insist on my way or the highway. They have wandered from their original objective. After a time, they are largely left with audiences of well-trained clapping seals and dutifully worshipful followers. It becomes less intelligent with time. I am amazed at the educated people who have taken leave of their senses in praise of these copy-and-paste “thought leaders”. Oh well…
Meanwhile, we have become like casino patrons, chasing the next machine to hit tilt.
Not every passing outrage needs to be aired and dissected…unless that is truly your mission.
Do we have to prove our loyalty to the cause of truth all day…every day…by trying to keep pace with all these characters?
I sense a number of manipulations in play, unfortunately…
Desires for power, prominence, clicks, income. Certainly ego needs…which will never be satisfied.
Covid and conspiracy have spawned a new cottage industry.
People have re-tooled their lives and their livelihoods around it…on all sides of the issues.
They begin to lose credibility. Watching the players bashing each other and competing for primacy leaves me suspicious of their motives.
In this, the Age of the Influencer, there are far too many self-declared experts…who are really only ‘expert’ at copy-and-paste, outrage and sensationalism.
They assert their questionable leadership via their vulgar and condescending attitudes and shrill assertions of their superiority. The mark of a certain generation that has not learned critical thinking. Their haughty, overbearing, sour and belligerent attitudes do not an expert make…
It is false, but effective, advertising for people who are often out of their depth and trying to learn.
Unfortunately we have allowed them to mold our tastes.
Along the way, I sometimes have persistent feelings that ‘something is wrong.’
But information is coming at us so fast from so many directions. We exhibit that strange fear of missing out (FOMO), so that we run and run to keep up…to find a way to digest it all…trying to be a part of it all.
When the ‘something is wrong’ pings for a few days, I step back and detox for awhile…to cleanse the palate, if you will.
I re-orient and then re-approach with a more detached perspective. I will have fresh insight into the participants and the way the room moves.
You start to get glimpses behind the curtain…
Some folks are quite damaged, living their lives on ‘repeat’…happy to have something to be outraged at yet again. Some conflate criticism for intelligence, Many are caught up in unsucessful lives due to drugs and petty offenses. Others, who may write beautifully, cannot move past their hatred of the system in order to pay their bills and rent.
The Stackers they praise have no clue. They are addicted to the adulation. They fail to see the hurting people piling up in the comments, anxious for any kind of recognition or approval.
I think it’s key to remember why we’re here, what we came for, who and how we can help, assess where we are now, what we’ve learned and keep moving toward our legitimate goals….to keep living our real lives.
Endless research and proof does not necessarily make you smarter. It may just be making you an endless reseacher and/or consumer of such. In my case, too much of a good thing can make me quite dull.
The Stackers may still be here in 5 more years…captured by the ‘thing’ they tried to put an end to.
I don’t see that as a plus… I see it as capture.
Quite sad, actually. Caught in an ego construct, a fake job with a weakened and deteriorating audience and community. We have worn ruts in our brains for near on 6 years now.
What started as solid research becomes “shtick” after a time. Much like one successful novel becomes a formula for the next 10 books in a series.
I would love to see some of our stackers return to the center of their own lives.
Maybe take a little time to rest and recover from their, sometimes, prodigious efforts… and contribute as a sideline.
A shift…
At this point in time, we are sufficiently wary.
Can we let ourselves off the hook? Can we de-trance? Is it finally time to put our own lives back in order…without the strident clamor of the “world is coming to a horrible end” screaming in the background at all times?
I gave about 2 1/2 very intense years…that should be sufficient.
I got the lay of the land, learned a heck of a lot about politics and the players (prior to that I was too busy in the trenches, in addition to having an instinctive repulsion for that world). I’m glad I learned and I’m grateful for all those that made it possible.
But it’s time to put it up now.
From now on, this will be a side dish and not the main course. I’ll keep abreast of the larger trends, but my days will no longer be consumed by their obsessions.
I will likely fast on occasion to clear myself…to restore a healthy relationship and restore a communication with my own life…You know…the one I had before.
How many times must we pore over the same comments, the same vulgarities and anger and outrage spewed daily?
It’s time to get a life…or get your life back…hopefully on a higher level for your efforts.
Time to re-evaluate and take a fresh look at the self-styled leaders.
I like the ones that make you think..who improve your observation and critical thinking skills, but you’ve got a lot of over the top influencers in this age of influencers who want to direct and command your thinking. You can get carved up pretty harshly if you fail to be a clapping seal in some of these circles.
I sometimes have to ask ‘at what point does their obsession or sickness become mine?’
“Go not thou with an angry man or woman lest thou learn their ways.” The contagion is real…
Watching over time, some fine stackers and researchers who used to be must-reads, have veered off-course. Swelling egos and fame have eclipsed their good work. When I check in now and then, they are flanked by an army of true believers with effusive praise…sycophants all…most likely bots, but they are captured in their way now…and lost to us. I’m seeing the drift in other voices who should have done better…seeking and awarding admirers…their passion for truth clouded by their appetite for clicks.
People are so caught up and entrenched in endless conspiracy and the instant cottage industry of “it’s all fake” that they are unwilling to see anything any other way. That carries its own risks… Is there any middle ground left?
In closing…
I took a little break this afternoon. Just 10 minutes or so. I woke to this song drumming in my mind…It has been decades since I last heard it. It dogged me all afternoon until I looked up the song and the lyrics… Made me smile in light of this post…
“When I think of all the worries people seem to find
how they're in a hurry to complicate their minds…
We were never meant to worry the way that people do
I don't mean to hurry as long as i'm with you…
Take it nice and easy and use my simple plan…
Take the most from living and pleasure while we can
and don't worry about tomorrow…just live for today
From 1967 - The Grass Roots "Let's live for today"
Debra Robinson
As always, thanks for reading…💖 Feel free to like, share and restack…